I guess a guess is the best I'll do
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wPrevious Funnies:


wAnd now ... the real reason I added this section ...

What is the hardest part about being a child rapist?

Getting the blood out of your clown suit!

Submitted by Frank


wAnd now ... the real reason I added this section ...

Q: How do you make a dead baby float?
A: One glass of Root Beer and two scoops of dead baby.

Q. Whats more fun that spinning a baby on clothes line?
A. Stopping it with a shovel.

Q: What is 18" long, cold and stiff, and makes a woman scream in the morning?
A: Crib death.

Q: What is worse than 10 dead babies in a garbage bag?
A: One dead baby in a ten garbage bags.

Q: How do you find the live baby in a pile of dead ones?
A: Jab 'em all with a pitchfork.

Q: What is worse than that?
A: At the bottom of the pile, there was one trying to eat its way out
Q: What is worse than that?
A: It made it
Q: What is worse than that?
A: It went back for seconds.

Submitted by Matt, of course


wBilly's Penis

A young girl comes home after playing at a neighbor's. "Guess what, Mommy!" she cries.  "Billy's penis is like a peanut!"

Confused and taken aback, her mother asks, "What do you mean?  It's shaped like a peanut?"

"No," the girl replies, "it's salty!"

Submitted by the Skinny Prick


wPeach Crumble

From the Simpsons:
How do you make a peach crumble?

Kick it in the groin.

Thanks Mo -

Submitted by Bernard


wMexicans Playing Basketball

What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball?

Juan on Juan

Submitted by Frank


wHypothetical vs. Realistic

"Daddy," a son asked his father, "what's the difference between 'hypothetical and 'realistic'?"

"Well, son," the father says, "go ask your sister if she'd have sex with her chemistry partner at school for $1 million and then go ask your mother if she'd screw the mailman for $1million."

So the son goes off to his mother and sister, and then comes back to his father.  "Sis said, 'Shit yeah', and mom said, 'Of course'" the boy reports.

"There you have it," the father explains.  "Hypothetically, we're millionaires, but realistically, we're just living with a couple of fucking whores!"

Submitted by the Skinny Prick


wThe Name Game

A guy walked into a pub and immediately noticed a young lady at the bar on her own. After a couple of drinks he decided to offer her a drink and make small talk. She accepted.

"What's your name?" he asked her.

"Carmen," she replied.

"That's a nice name. Did your mother or father name you that?"

"Neither. I changed my name when I was eighteen from Sharon to Carmen."

"Why did you do that?" he asked.

"Well," she explained, "I like men and I like cars, so that is how I got my name. What's your name?"

"Beerpussy," the man replied.

Submitted by Matt